The Dog Went To The Park. (Or, How To Give Your Kid The Best You Have)

A simple sentence.  The dog went to the park.  Simplicity at its finest.  The hesitant hand that penned this sentence is that of my four-year-old stepson, Tiegen.

Tiegen is homeschooled by my wife, Krystal.  Along with Tiegen, Krystal "babysits" two other young children.  I placed the word babysits in quotation marks because I take issue with it.  Each morning, a local mother drops off her three-year-old and seven-month-old daughters at our home under the care of my wife.  So, on the basis of that alone, yes, she babysits.

Krystal, however, would never be satisfied with simply sitting home and making sure the kids don't get into the laundry detergent, or making sure they don't crack each other on the heads with plastic hammers.  That's not enough for her.  You see, my wife is a teacher.  It's not just what she does, it's who she is.  If you place her in a room with children for more than a second or two, those children are going to learn from her.  And she teaches in unique and fun ways--ways that resonate with the children.

When Krystal and I were first dating, I paid a visit to the preschool/daycare center in which she worked.  It wasn't the first time I'd been inside a center, as my mother ran several of them when I was younger.  However, being a bit older and... shall we say... less patient, I realized what a special type of personality it takes to operate in that type of environment.  I've often said if I were a daycare teacher, parents might arrive at the end of the day to find a neat little row of Hefty bags with name tags.  Obviously, I'm not cut out for that kind of work!

Krystal is.

Kids adore Krystal.  She is firm, but fun.  She challenges their imaginations and their sense of ingenuity.  She teaches them problem-solving skills.  She comes up with outstanding lesson plans and craft projects for them to do.

When we got married, we decided that Krystal should stay home with Tiegen and teach him.  We crunched the numbers and realized that if we brought Tiegen home from daycare and she took in two to three other children, she would actually be financially better off than she was while working as an underpaid and under-appreciated daycare teacher.  Add to that the benefits of being able to teach Tiegen with much more personal attention than he would receive in a daycare, and we decided it was the best way to go.

Tiegen's always been a sharp kid.  He shocks us with his memory.  For example, one day we were driving down the road and he said to me, "Daddy, do you remember when we went to the zoo, and I played in the water?"  I scoured my brain, searching my memory banks.  He continued, "Remember how there were these little holes and water would shoot out in my face?  Remember how I laughed and laughed?"  I was stunned.  That event occurred on his first birthday!  He was remembering something that had happened three years earlier, while he was still toddling around in a diaper!

However, Tiegen is learning at extremely accelerated rates.  I believe that is, in large part, because of the approach Krystal takes to his education.  In the former daycare setting, he was one of many kids whose activities were loosely monitored by bored and underpaid ladies who seemed like they would've preferred to be elsewhere.  He came home repeating words and phrases he'd learned from other kids and teachers that we found to be inappropriate.  He learned to push and shove, and that when reason fails, volume is the best way to get what he wanted.

Since he's been at home with Krystal, any adults who deal with him remark about how unbelievably polite and intelligent he is.  He is learning the values we hold dear in our family.

Not only that, there's a story behind the sentence you see in the photo at the top of this post.  One evening while waiting for me to arrive home from work, Krystal was in the kitchen cooking.  Tiegen said from the dining room, "Mommy, how do you spell went?"  Krystal responded as we always do, "Sound it out, buddy.  How do you think you'd spell went?"  A moment later, Tiegen excitedly bounded into the kitchen to show his mommy the sentence he had just written.  This four-year-old boy, whom Krystal assumed was playing with his toys in the living room, had sat down with his beloved dry-erase board and--unprompted and uncoached--had written a perfect sentence.  All at an age when many kids are speaking in baby-talk and struggling to learn letter sounds.  I attribute this wonderful success to Tiegen's intelligence and to Krystal's skills and passion as a teacher/mother.

I am writing this today because it's on my mind.  There is a vast and growing debate in our country about homeschooling.  Some say that homeschooled children suffer socially.  One man, while singing the praises of the public school system, told Krystal that children need to be pushed down by other kids in order to learn their place in the world.  He said sometimes advanced kids need to simply "dumb down" and be normal.  

Really?  Is that the kind of innovation that made this country great?  Is that the way to give our kids the tools necessary for success?  "Look, kid... I know you already know this stuff and it's really easy, but your classmates aren't at your level.  Therefore, you'll just have to sit through it until the rest of the kids catch up to you."  Sorry, Jack.  It doesn't work.  I've been there.  The high school from which I graduated had that same outlook.  It was torturous, and it certainly did not help me excel.  

Others say homeschooling isn't for everyone.  On this point I agree.  For example, the man of whom I just spoke wrote with the use of only one type of punctuation: the comma.  He seemed diametrically opposed to capitalization and grammatical rules.  This man has apparently settled for a life of semi-literate bliss.  He should not be teaching, as he is unqualified.  Krystal, on the other hand, is exceptionally articulate, reads the dictionary for entertainment, and is a thinker.  She makes an excellent teacher.

Homeschooling isn't for everyone.  However, standardized test scores among homeschooled children are quite impressive, routinely surpassing that of public school students by as much as 30 to 40 points.  Plugged-in parents can easily put their kids in social environments.  Tiegen is involved in Rainbows at church, has his daily playmates, and gets lots of playtime at the park...where he has shown a knack for being exceptionally caring and compassionate to the kids around him.

I find it fascinating that, as a nation, we spend more than $10,000 a year per student in public schools while the average homeschool family spends between $600 and $1000.  Yet, homeschoolers tend to score 30 to 40 points higher than public school students on the same tests.  Perhaps the socialized approach to education doesn't work, after all.  

I actually didn't write this entry to push the idea of homeschooling.  I wrote it to say how proud I am of my wife for the hard work she puts into raising a smart, happy, well-adjusted boy.  I recognize a special gift in her, and in him.  We have made this decision for our household.  It is not without its difficulties, but it is well worth the investment.

Thank you, Krystal, for being a great mom, a skilled teacher, and a wonderful wife.  I love you.

Oh, and by the way, here is a list of people you might recognize.  Each one of these people was homeschooled.  Enjoy.

·  President John Adams

·  President John Quincy Adams

·  President Grover Cleveland

·  President James Garfield

·  President William Henry Harrison

·  President Andrew Jackson

·  President Thomas Jefferson

·  President Abraham Lincoln

·  President James Madison

·  President Franklin Delano Roosevelt

·  President Theodore Roosevelt

·  President John Tyler

·  President  George Washington

·  President Woodrow Wilson 

·  Pierre du Pont

·  Benjamin Franklin

·  Alexander Hamilton

·  Patrick Henry

·  William Penn

·  Daniel Webster

·  Alexander the Great  - Greek Ruler

·  John Barry - Senior Navy Officer

·  Stonewall Jackson - Civil War General

·  John Paul Jones - Father of the American Navy

·  Robert E. Lee - Civil War General

·  Douglas MacArthur - U.S. General

·  George Patton - U.S. General

·  Matthew Perry - naval officer who opened up trade with Japan

·  John Pershing - U.S. General

·  David Dixon Porter - Civil War Admiral

·  Albert Einstein

·  Michael Faraday - electrochemist

·  Oliver Heaviside - physicist and electromagnetism researcher

·  T.H. Huxley

·  Blaise Pascal

·  Booker T. Washington

·  Erik Demaine - Popular Science Mag: One of the Most Brilliant Scientists in America 

·  Alexander Graham Bell - invented the telephone

·  John Moses Browning - firearms inventor and designer

·  Peter Cooper - invented skyscraper, built first U.S. commercial locomotive

·  Thomas Edison - invented the stock ticker, mimeograph, phonograph, and perfected the electric light bulb

·  Benjamin Franklin - invented the lightning rod

·  Elias Howe - invented sewing machine

·  William Lear - airplane creator

·  Cyrus McCormick - invented grain reaper

·  Guglielmo Marconi - developed radio

·  Eli Whitney - invented the cotton gin

·  Sir Frank Whittle - invented turbo jet engine

·  Orville and Wilbur Wright - built the first successful airplane

·  Hans Christian Anderson

·  Margaret Atwood

·  Pearl S. Buck

·  William F. Buckley, Jr.

·  Willa Cather

·  Agatha Christie

·  Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

·  Charles Dickens

·  Robert Frost - Pulitzer Prize-winning poet

·  Charlotte Perkins Gilman

·  Alex Haley

·  Brett Harte

·  C.S. Lewis

·  Amy Lowell

·  Gabriela Mistral

·  Sean O'Casey

·  Christopher Paolini - author of #1 NY Times bestseller, Eragon

·  Isabel Paterson

·  Beatrix Potter - author of the beloved Peter Rabbit Tales

·  Carl Sandburg

·  George Bernard Shaw

·  Mattie J. T. Stepanek - 11-year-old author of Heartsongs

·  Mercy Warren

·  Phillis Wheatley

·  Walt Whitman

·  Laura Ingalls Wilder

Seriously??!!

As of the day before yesterday, I decided I was going to take a "leave of absence" from Facebook.  Feeling a bit overwhelmed with the constant stream of data that flows into my brain while I'm at work and at home.  While I'm at work, I'm working on accounts online, reading updates, adjusting pricing plans, updating the company Facebook page and working with customers.  When I'm at home I am always connected with my smartphone and my tablet computer.  It seems like I am constantly referring back to Facebook to check in on the status updates of people from all over the country and to attempt to post the wittiest updates on my own page.  Add to that my photography page, my family reunion page and monitoring the goings-on with my upcoming high school reunion, I just needed a few days to regroup.

One of the reasons I've become so frustrated while on Facebook is my Christian friends.  Seriously.  My non-Christian friends don't bother me all that much.  Probably because they are living up to the stand they've taken in life.  They know what I stand for, and that I will always represent Christ to the best of my ability with the help of the Holy Spirit.  I am not shy about my stand.  I share my faith.  They're good with it, and I respect their position as well.  Though my heart aches for them to place Christ as the central figure in their lives, I respect the fact that God has given us all free will.  I only hope that my ongoing prayers, example, and encouragement will be a catalyst for their conversion.

Many of my Christian friends, however, are enough to drive me to distraction.  If I base my understanding of God solely upon the status updates and comments of those who claim a relationship with Christ, I find three prevalent themes:

1. Theology is BAD
2. Religion is BAD
3. If you point out how any type of behavior diverges from scripture, that's being judgmental... and, as we all can guess, Judgmentalism is BAD.

Seriously??!! These are people who should know better!  (Oops!  There I go being judgmental again!)  Let's look at these three items in a bit more detail, shall we?  

• Theology

Let's look at the meaning of the word theology.  Theo comes from the Greek word theos, meaning God.  -logy also comes from the Greek, and is a suffix in the English language that means the study or knowledge of... Therefore, the word theology really means the knowledge of God.

As Christians, we believe in the Word of God... or at least we claim to.  If we believe the Word of God, the Bible, we must acknowledge that God has described His attributes, personality and commands in His Word.  As a Christian, there is no way around that acknowledgment.  It either is, or it isn't true.  If it isn't, than the Jesus you're following is a liar, and you're a fool to follow Him.  So, with all this in mind, can someone please explain to my poor underdeveloped mind how theology is bad?  Can the knowledge or study of God be bad?  It was God who said "I love those who love me, and those who seek me diligently will find me." [Pr. 8:17]  He also said, "you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart." [Jer. 29:13]

Throughout scripture, we are instructed to seek the Lord, to know the Lord, to emulate His attributes.  To say that theology is a bad thing is to put aside this mandate.  These are not man-made ideals or man/centered rules.  These are directives handed down through the Holy Spirit to the men who penned the Word of God.   

I submit to you the idea that those who claim theology is bad or unnecessary 1. don't know what the word means, 2. haven't gotten to know the God they claim to serve, and/or 3. have hearts that are filled with rebellion and simply refuse to submit themselves to the lordship of God.

• Religion

James 1:27 says this:  "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."  This is a short summary of Christ's ministry on earth.  He cared for those in need, and he kept himself unsullied by the filth of the sinful world.  All the while, He spoke the truth of scripture and taught adherence to biblical law.

Many say that Jesus came to abolish religion.  This is false, and is a dangerous false doctrine.  Jesus said, "For assuredly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, one jot or one tittle will by no means pass from the law till all is fulfilled." [Mt. 5:19]  His sentence just prior to that was, "Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets. I did not come to destroy but to fulfill."  Did Jesus come to abolish religion?  No.  Did Jesus abide by the religious traditions of the Jews.  Yes, inasmuch as those traditions were scripturally mandated.  Jesus fulfilled the law and cast aside those man-made perversions that had become popular at the time.

Have there been man-made rules that have been passed down from generation to generation?  Yes.  People will always try to insert their own philosophies into scripture.  The point is to know the Word of God, and not to be fooled by extra-biblical teachings.  False religion is the hijacking of scriptural truths to serve human interests.  As I recently told a friend, to shun tradition merely because it is tradition is rebellion.  To question the origin of traditions and weigh them against the Word of God is wisdom.

Many claim that religion has caused violence in the world.  True.  However, not pure and undefiled religion.  False and man-centered perversions of religion have caused violence.  In short, sin has caused violence and death, just as scripture promised.  Think about it.  The "crusades" were caused by power hungry men who used their positions to try to spread their influence, all the while pretending they were doing it in the name of God.  These crusades were largely in response to an earlier power grab by Islamic zealots who used their false religion to capture, torture and kill people by the thousands.  I believe this is one main reason scripture draws a line of distinction between false religion and "pure and undefiled religion."  Religion isn't bad, folks.  Man-centered perversions of religion are bad.  If we don't hold true to the meanings of our terms, then nothing we say has any meaning.

•  Judgmentalism

This is, by far, the most commonly used tool of those whose actions are called into question in light of scripture.  Judgmentalism is misunderstood and misused in many cases.  Hopefully I can help to clarify the topic a bit.

"You're a Christian!  You're not supposed to judge!"  How many times have you heard this?  How many times have you said this?  In Matthew 7:1 and 2, Jesus says "Judge not, that you be not judged.  For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you."  Seems pretty cut and dried, right?

Elsewhere in scripture, though, we are instructed to measure the qualifications of spiritual leaders by comparing their lifestyles to scriptural edicts [1 Ti. 3:1-13, Tit. 1:5-9]  We are also told that if someone calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral, covetous, an idolator, slanderer, drunkard or swindler, we are not to associate with him at all. [1 Cor. 5:11] Given these two commands, are we not asked to judge?  Yet, when one holds up scripture and shows how another's actions deviate from it, he is chastised for being judgmental.

You see, it's all about context.  Jesus did say not to judge.  He connected that to judgment placed against ourselves.  As my father used to say: "Whenever you point your finger at someone else, you have three pointed back at you."  How true this is!  That's exactly what Jesus was saying!  Jesus said that we would be measured by the same standards to which we hold others.  He was telling us not to be hypocrites.  He was telling us that if we judge, the very standards by which we judge will be used against us.

I am not qualified to judge the inner workings of your heart and soul.  I cannot place myself in the position of the Judge Who determines your eternal future.  For me to try is foolishness.  However, scripture tells us that we will be known (judged) by our works.  Scripture tells us to judge whether a man is qualified to serve in leadership in the church by weighing the evidence of his life against scripture.  I can--and should--point to scripture and call upon my brethren to question their own actions and motives.

Let me make something perfectly clear.  Those who ride the "don't be judgmental" pony are soon bucked off!  They are people who, again, 1. don't know the meaning of what they're saying, 2. haven't spent enough time in scripture to understand the biblical standards of holiness to which we are all held, and/or 3. have a heart full of rebellion and misuse the words of Christ to justify their own sinful behavior.  There are certain standards the scriptures set for those who call themselves followers of Christ.  Those standards must be followed, or you prove the failure of your own testimony.  That isn't someone else bringing judgment on you, that's your own choices bringing judgment.  Those whose lives are solidly rooted in the Word of God see things through spiritual eyes.  Don't be so arrogant as to believe that you can live in contravention to God's Word and have that life be unnoticeable to God's people!  God's standards do not change with time or popular opinion.  If something was wrong two thousand years ago, it's still wrong now.  And throwing the hollow accusation of judgmentalism upon whoever sees your sin and calls your attention to it does not nullify God's Word.  If you are listening to someone who allows you to think you can do whatever you want to do without spiritual consequence, I refer you back to the book of Matthew, chapter 5: verse 19, where Jesus said, "Whoever therefore breaks one of the least of these commandments, and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but whoever does and teaches them, he shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven."

I know this blog isn't going to win me any new friends.  I'm OK with that.  It may even cost me a few.  That's OK, too.  What I'm not OK with is my friends thinking they are just fine because they get together with other like-minded folks, have a good time, feel good about themselves because they feel justified in their worldly behavior, and then die and find out how self-deceived they are.  I love my friends too much for that. 

When someone calls someone else judgmental, they say it in a way that indicates that the person is uncaring, unloving, and hateful.  You can call me judgmental if you want.  Just line your life up with scripture, or you'll find yourself surprised one day when God says "Depart from me, you worker of iniquity.  I never knew you."