An Open Letter To Women from a Man with Eyes and a Brain

Dear ladies,

I'm on your side. I like you. You're being dumb.

I was home today to witness a bit of daytime television. One program featured a guy who gives medical advice. He focused this particular episode on a couple of cosmetic procedures. He spoke about tanning and about injections women are putting in their faces. The show revived a long-lived frustration within me and generated a bit of a rant I could not contain. Therefore, I have whipped out the keyboard to share with you some critical thinking I think you need to consider.

Tanning is less of an issue than the injections, but I'll quickly address that first. There's this light in the sky that, when one exposes oneself to it, causes a change in the pigment of human skin. This change of pigment is actually a mild form of skin damage. There was a time when people showed signs of this skin damage, it indicated to the casual observer that these individuals were not of the noble class, because they obviously worked outdoors and had regular exposure to the elements. Basically, a person with a tan was looked down upon.

Western society, in all its wisdom, has convinced many of us that a woman actually looks better with a tan. Some, of course, have taken that to the extreme and have suffered the consequences of their obsession with sun worship. We've all seen the leathery middle-aged woman of now ambiguous ethnicity because she has lain out in the sun or under a sunlamp an excessive amount of time. We all also know of people whose skin has betrayed them with malignant results of their sun worship. It can be a deadly thing.

In step the chemists to rescue us! Realizing that ultraviolet light damages skin, they have devised a plethora of formulas to chemically adjust the skin tone of their clientele. From spray tans to lotions, to pills, the options are almost limitless.

The "beauty" obsessed public gobbles up these options because, hey, it's not UV light, right? I mean, I can still darken my skin without causing UV damage? That's stinking awesome, right?!! What they fail to do is research the chemicals they're absorbing into their bodies and the ultimately horrendous results that are possible.

In short, stop it. Be you. That's where your beauty is. You are not more desirable because of a tan. You are more desirable when you are confident in who you are.

The discussion of the artificial sun tans led to a discussion of injections of Botox and other substances as a means of "looking younger."

Now, ladies, I'm going to share some harsh truth with you. This nugget of truth will not come as a surprise, because you already know it. You, in many cases, though, seem to get caught up in the nonsense fed to you by the media and slip into the downhill rush to fit in. Before I do, though, I must say this: in discussing this blog post with my wife prior to writing it, she asked if I was going to address men who did the same things. To that I say this: while some men do participate in these activities, those men are an aberration. They are not the norm. Women, however, often fall prey to these thought processes en masse. They are pressured by Hollywood, sold a bill of goods in magazines, told they're not good enough, thin enough, tall enough, shapely enough, young enough...

Let me say three things to you:

1. You are enough.

2. You are enough.

3. You are enough.

Say those sentences out loud. Say them to yourself every day, every hour if you must. Convince yourself of these things. Your voice speaking these truths must always be louder than the ceaseless noise of a society that profits from your feelings of inadequacy.

Now, let's talk for a moment about these injections everyone's getting in their faces. Remember the day of glamorous Hollywood starlets? Remember the ones who grew older and became icons of grace and style for senior citizens?

Yeah, those days are over. Nowadays, anyone in the entertainment industry begins altering her face and figure at an early age in a futile attempt to look nineteen years old again. These women, who have all the fame and money they could ever enjoy are so desperate to hold onto their youth that they end up looking like a sad caricature of themselves. Some are almost completely unrecognizable. 

And think about this: These women can afford the absolute best cosmetic procedures money can buy. But look how horribly their faces are disfigured! Many of the women who were at one time considered to be some of the most beautiful women in the world appear to be melting wax figures.

It's sad. It's pathetic.

Now, if they can afford the best and they end up looking like some sort of alien creatures trying to pretend to be human, do you honestly believe you can achieve better results on your budget? Think about the logic there.

Please stop taking advice from the media on how the mythical "Ideal Woman" should look. It's bad enough that so many women seem to be enslaved by the fashion industry. Please don't fall prey to this pathetic false image that cannot be attained.

We are supposed to age over time. Take care of yourself. Stay fit. Stay strong. Eat well. Rest well. Stay hydrated. But for the love of all that is good and true, do not inject yourself with "treatments" that promise to make you look younger.

The Mayo Clinic's website describes botulism as:   Botulism is a rare but serious condition caused by toxins from bacteria called Clostridium botulinum.

Three common forms of botulism are:

• Foodborne botulism. The harmful bacteria thrive and produce the toxin in environments with little oxygen, such as in canned food.
• Wound botulism. If these bacteria get into a cut, they can cause a dangerous infection that produces the toxin.
• Infant botulism. This most common form of botulism begins after Clostridium botulinum bacterial spores grow in a baby's intestinal tract. It typically occurs between the ages of 2 months and 8 months.

All types of botulism can be fatal and are considered medical emergencies.

And yet, "patients" pump their faces full of BoTox, which is botulinum toxin.

I simply find it sad that so many women feel the need to alter themselves in such dangerous ways in order to meet some ideal that doesn't even exist. And that ideal? Many women are convinced that this elusive ideal is what men want. But think about it. No man wants a woman whose face is malformed by repeated injections and surgical procedures. 

You really need to consider where the message is coming from. Who is telling women how they must look? Who designs the clothing? Who are the "style critics?" 

• Women, and
• Gay men.

Neither of these two categories can speak for what a man wants in a woman. I'm sure there are some straight men involved in the fashion industry somewhere, but they certainly aren't the ones we see as the public face of the industry. 

Why don't you ask a masculine man what he likes to see in a woman? You might be pleasantly surprised by his answer. If you asked me, I'd probably answer the following way. Here's my short list of things that make a woman attractive:

• A passionate commitment to God,
• Intelligence,
• A strong sense of humor,
• Enough confidence to speak out when she believes it's important,
• Enough humility to not need to be surrounded by drama in order to get attention,
• A strong interest in taking care of herself, her health, and her hygiene,
• An inquisitive mind,
• Inner strength

Paralyzed eyebrows, an unnatural brown tint to the skin, and inside-out lips never made the list.