"We Need To Teach Our Daughters..."

We've always heard that we live in a "male-dominated" society.  I suppose if you have an innate victim mentality that was, at one time, true.  Men held the highest paid jobs, and a hugely disparate percentage of the jobs in total.  Men had the purchasing power.  Men filled the governmental positions.

That was back in the early days of this country.  Largely, this started changing with World War I and World War II.  During those years, women were needed to fill the production positions left vacant by men who'd gone off to fight for their country.

Since then, women have slowly and steadily filled more and more positions in the workplace and in government.  In fact, some of the most powerful roles in our government are filled by women.  This is a day in which a woman who wants to achieve great things has all the opportunity she needs to do so.  We have a female Secretary of State, a female Surgeon General, Homeland Security Secretay, ninety Congressional posts, and the numbers are growing all the time.  Disparities in wages are often caused by faulty statistical schemes.  For example:  most surveys that claim a disparity in male/female incomes do not take into consideration maternity leave, the increased number of days off that women take as opposed to men, and so on.  

The fact is, we are all different.  We must be careful when we speak in generalities.  

One thing is obvious to the observant person:  over the past few decades, there has been a concerted effort in the media and in society to undermine masculinity in American society.  In almost every family portrayed in television or movies, the man is portrayed as clueless or tyrannical, or both.  The woman is always portrayed as the one with the common sense and intelligence.  Men are either the comical characters whose oafish blunders make us laugh uproariously at their expense, or as the morally depraved deviants whose inner corruption is rarely far from surfacing and destroying the poor female victim.

Don't take my word for it.  Look at what you watch and read with open eyes.  Pay attention to what you're putting into your mind.

It has seeped into every part of our lives.  Read your Facebook news feed.  Watch how many women post things like "We Need To Teach Our Daughters..." or "A Real Man..."

How often do you read "A Real Woman..." ?  

When I moved to Missouri, the church my mother attended had an adult Sunday School class for people my age.  They were running a series of videos by a famed Christian author whose specialty seems to be in relationship counseling.  Throughout that series, I observed something that had disturbed me for several years prior to that.  Whenever the speaker addressed the men, he instructed them to change their approach to make room for the more emotional way many women interpret the world.  When he addressed the women, he instructed them to "understand that men just don't get it."

We now live in a time in which it's almost considered a bad thing to be masculine.  The church is one of the biggest offenders, too.  The church today is raising a generation of males who don't know what true masculinity is.  We see more and more who are so detached from their own gender that they even physically manifest signs of effeminacy.  It's an interesting and disturbing phenomenon.  They are not self-sufficient, strong, or effective leaders.  They cower to the politically correct rather than standing with a rigid spine in the face of popular opposition.  In my mind, it's vivid evidence of the emasculation of the Christian man.  (Read Wild at Heart, by John Eldredge for a much more skillful exposition on this subject.)

We also live in a time in which it's politically correct, and even applauded, when women make blanket statements about the cluelessness, ineptitude, lack of moral character, and spinelessness of men.  Yet, if a man were to say anything negative about a woman, he is branded a sexist.  The pendulum has swung so far that it's considered socially acceptable to hold up a man to public ridicule based upon his gender.  And it's become a part of the fabric of daily communication, to the point that it's unnoticeable unless one listens with new ears.

I'm writing to try to give you new ears.

Posts like the very popular "We Need To Teach Our Daughters..." make negative assumptions about men in general.  Posts like "A Real Man..." does or doesn't do certain things are a backhanded insult against men in general because they only address half of the equation.  We rarely see posts instructing women to be ladies.  We rarely hear teachers or preachers applauding true femininity instead of feminism.  We regularly hear messages instructing men to adjust to women, but rarely the opposite.  These messages criticize men for their less emotional approach to life, their lack of verbal communication and their tendency to spend too much time and effort on their careers.  We rarely hear sermons on how women can follow a truly scriptural approach to femininity.  We rarely hear a sermon that tells a woman to "suck it up and think logically" or to "stop talking so much."  

One problem is that these flawed sermons are often preached by men.  These men seem so afraid of being labeled as a sexist that they feel the need to apologize for their gender rather than educate women on how to adequately interact with men.  Just a clue, pastors, men are not the only ones who need to adjust their approach to the opposite sex.  

This morning, in the wake of the Aurora, Colorado shooting, I read an article that sparked a thought I wanted to share.  The article spoke of three young men who sacrificed their lives by shielding their girlfriends from the gunfire.  These men selflessly placed themselves between the attacker and their loved-ones.  Each one of them saved a woman.  Each one of them died in the process.  These are heroes.  These are valiant men.  These men deserve to be remembered.  These men demonstrated manhood.

What if we shifted our approach a bit?  What if, instead of focusing on the negatives that some men display, we focused on things like heroism, faithfulness, honor and integrity?  What if, instead of saying we need to teach our daughters to act like spoiled princesses in a world in which men exist only to meet her needs and make her happy, we taught our daughters to prove themselves worthy of a man such as these three men?  What if we teach  men how to be men and women how to be women?  What if we taught men to be gentlemen and women to be ladies?  You know, those archaic terms that have all but lost all meaning?

How about teaching your daughters how to be the best they can be?  Teach them the biblical definition of womanhood.  Teach your sons the biblical description of manhood.  You know, man and woman were created to complement one another, not compete against each other.  We were created as parts of a puzzle that becomes complete when we marry.  Stop teaching your little girl to dress like an eight year old prostitute who is so desperate for male attention that she'll lower herself to appeal to the lowest common denominator. Stop teaching your daughter that she's the most important person on the planet and that she deserves a man who will bow to her and give her everything that she wants.  Teach her that true love is self-sacrificing.

Teach your children, male and female, how to love sacrificially.

Teach your boys how to treat a lady.

Teach your daughter how to be worthy of that treatment.

The Things We Say...

Recently, I became aware of a family who had announced to their friends and family that they were expecting a baby.  Such joyous news!  But then, right after announcing the pregnancy, they suffered a miscarriage.  The wife posted a heartfelt blog entry about it, explaining the situation and her deep sense of loss.

My heart breaks for this family.  I know the pain that comes with loss.

One of the things that fascinate me about social networking is how obvious it becomes that people are oblivious to what they read. People have responded to her blog post in some of the most insensitive ways.  It reminded me of some of the things people said to my family and me after my father was suddenly killed in an accident.

People often don't know what to say when someone has suffered a loss.  It can be awkward and uncomfortable.  Often, people parrot the same cliches they've heard all their lives.  These words are intended as a form of comfort, but usually add to the suffering.

So... as a public service to those who have been fortunate enough to have avoided suffering serious loss in their own lives, I have decided to bring to your attention certain phrases and statements that should be avoided if you find yourself speaking to the victim of such a tragedy.

1. He/She's in a better place.  Please don't say this.  To a person who has just lost a loved one, this phrase adds insult to injury.  The surviving members of the family are wounded, and wounded people are often incapable of thinking in the abstract.  The person to whom you are talking is trying to deal with deep personal pain.  They are trying to comprehend their loss and how in the world they are going to live their lives without their loved-one.  To say the deceased is in a better place comes across as calloused and insensitive.  They want their loved-one with them, and their emotional turmoil often prohibits them from grasping the simplistic truth you're trying to convey.
2. Everything happens for a reason.  Oh boy.  Explain to me how my father flipping over on a tractor and crushing himself to death in front of my mother could possibly be "for a reason."  Actually, don't.  Because if you try to do so while I'm in the midst of my unexpected grief, you'll be driving the dagger deeper into my heart and twisting.  Please don't be like the ignorant and seemingly heartless man who told me that my father had probably been killed so that I would move to Missouri and lead worship in a particular church.  There are no words for this kind of insensitivity.
3. In the case of a miscarriage:  You know, one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage.  That wounded parent doesn't care about statistics!  How about this for a statistic.  Everybody dies. Do you want me to say that to you when you've lost the person who is dearest in your life?  Would that be comforting?  No, that would make me a heartless beast.  Yes, death is common.  However, it is not common to the person suffering the loss.  Think.  Think.  Think.  "Even the fool, when he is silent, people will think he's wise."
4. Also in the case of a miscarriage:  You'll be good parents someday.  Really?  And what is stopping me from being a good parent today?  Oh, the death of my baby?  Yeah, maybe the reason my baby died is because I wouldn't be a good parent right now.  
5. You can try again later.  I don't know about you, but the last thing on my mind when Krystal and I had a miscarriage was, "hey, we can try again."  Seriously, this was not just a simple mishap to us, and it isn't to other parents, either.  This wasn't my favorite team losing the playoffs.  It was a baby dying.  Please recognize the importance of the event in the person's life.

If you notice some sense of hostility in my writing, you're right.  This topic touches a nerve with me.  As you know, I lost my father in a tragic accident.  When I was suffering from that, I realized how hollow and meaningless the things people say can be.  Krystal and I have also suffered the loss of a child through miscarriage.  Those wounds cut deep.  We, fortunately, hadn't announced the pregnancy to anyone--a fact that saved us the heartache of everyone we know trying to comfort us with canned responses.  Those who found out about it did, in fact, use some of the same phrases listed above.

There are those, though, who are exceptionally sensitive to a mourner's plight.  When my dad died, there was a young minister who came to sit with Mom.  He hugged her and sat with her silently.  He simply held her hand and sat silently, letting her know that he was there to support her in her time of loss.  This young man showed more wisdom than the hundreds who thought it necessary to fill the silence with hollow words.

My words may sound harsh.  If so, I apologize.  If they offend you, it's probably because you haven't experienced first hand the loss of a dear one.  Please take my words to heart.  The wisest comforters are those who sit silently, offering their presence as support, and not their words.

Road Trip: Day One... Well, almost...

Jumped out of bed this morning ready to take off for our trip to Reno, Nevada.  The excitement was coursing through our veins as we stacked our bags by the door.  Jumped in the car and headed to the airport to pick up the rental car that we reserved and paid for nearly three weeks ago.

"Oh, sir, since you're paying with a debit card, we have to run a credit check on you."

Wonderful.

"I'm sorry, sir, but your credit check was refused.  You can't rent a car with us."

WHAT??!!

"I paid for this rental nearly three weeks ago.  It's paid for.  I've spoken with customer service to confirm and re-confirm the terms of this trip.  At some point along the line, do you think someone could have informed me that I might be denied based on a credit check?"

"I'm sorry, sir.  That's just the policy."

"So, now that I've planned, budgeted, reserved, paid for, and bypassed all other alternative forms of travel for this trip... Now that I have to be in Reno, 1750 miles away, in two days, you tell me I'm denied.  I know it's not your fault, but don't you think that's a bad business practice?"

So we contacted multiple car rental agencies and found similar issues.  I know, let's take our car to the shop, see if we can fix what needs to be fixed, and take it to Reno.  The brakes are a bit spongy and there's a vacuum leak.  We drove our happy selves over to an auto mechanic's shop where we explained our situation.  They happily wrote our car up and wheeled it into the garage.

A little while later, a charming man came in and said, "Now, you know they can get started looking at it.  But they're gonna stop at noon and take an hour lunch, so you're gonna be stuck sitting here until after one o'clock." 

Wonderful.

So we sat there and watched as a large number of people sat around a table smoking cigarettes and eating, until we finally decided to walk down the street to Purple Burrito for some lunch (Pregnant women know how to tell you when they're hungry.).

When we got back, the gentleman to whom we had spoken gave us an estimate for the repairs.  OUCH!  The car needs a new master cylinder, front disks and pads.  $464.00.  Not an option today.

I called a friend who advised me to go to a mechanic he trusts very highly.  Howard was great.  He was professional, courteous, busy, and eager to help.  He and his technician tackled our car with all the gusto of a two-man pit crew, all the while answering endless phone calls and processing customers in and out.

He was short-handed, and was having to deal with angry customers who couldn't understand how their cars couldn't be finished immediately when they had gone to all the trouble of bringing them in first thing in the morning.  All the while, Howard was trying to explain why he couldn't fix an engine that had a three-inch hole in the side from a thrown rod to a family who spoke only what sounded like Chinese.  The sign language was entertaining, but I was focused on getting on the road.

Ah, Howard.  So observant and thorough.  So thorough, in fact, that he discovered why the first mechanic had quoted me $464.00.  Because he hadn't looked at the rear brakes!

Two blown brake cylinders and pads all around.  A new master cylinder and front discs.  The system needs to be flushed as well, but that's an afterthought.  So Howard, in his thoroughness, quotes me a price of $872.17, but then says he can give me a $50 coupon for the front and rear brakes, making it a hundred dollars less.

I like Howard.  I will go back to Howard.  I would recommend Howard's services.  I simply can't pay Howard today.

So, back to the house to rethink  our options.  I will not miss this graduation.  Last minute flights are astronomical, so that's out.  I'll figure this out.  Tomorrow I'll be blogging from somewhere around Albuquerque!

By the way:  Avis is NOT my friend.

Leavin' On A Jet Plane... Well, actually a rental car...

So, I'm really excited!  I received an invitation to my oldest son's high school graduation in Reno, Nevada!  It's so tough for me to imagine my son being old enough to graduate!  He's already signed up for the Air Force, and will shortly be going into basic training.  I couldn't be more proud of him.

For those who don't know, I was divorced in 2000.  Since then, my regular contact with my sons has been far less than it should have been.  There were several factors in play, and I'm not here to delve into that situation.  It is merely my intent to say that I am actively working to repair the damage that time and distance have caused.  I love my sons, a fact that has never wavered.  I desperately want to be with them.  I am thrilled for the opportunity to be a part of this important day.

I recently made a plea to my online friends for help.  With the ongoing financial recovery from the time my mother had her stroke, and the unexpected expenses that came along with that, Krystal and I have been very tight on cash.  We've been surviving, but with just enough to pay our basic bills.  An unexpected trip across the country seemed beyond our reach.

I received overwhelmingly supportive response from my friends.  Some offered air miles and others offered cash for the trip.  I can't adequately express my gratitude for their generosity.  It was a bit humiliating asking for help, but the warmth with which most of them responded was mind-blowing.  I did have one person I had thought of as a friend accuse me of "begging for airfare" on the internet and use the occasion to question my worth as a man.  It was an interesting interaction that resulted in a parting of ways, but many of my friends were gracious.

I crunched some numbers and discovered that renting a car and driving the 3500 miles round trip will actually cost less than a round-trip ticket between Springfield and Reno.  Not only that, but this way, Krystal can travel with me!

We didn't have much of a honeymoon last August.  We had her son, Tiegen, with us and mainly stayed at home, taking only a couple of days to go camping.  (Sleeping in a very small tent with two adults and a four-year-old in 90-degree weather is anything but romantic!)  So, when I pitched the idea of a road-trip to Nevada, Krystal immediately saw it as an opportunity for some one-on-one time.  She arranged child-care for Tiegen, we arranged for my brother to come and pick up my mother for a couple of weeks, and started making plans.

So, tomorrow morning we head to the Avis counter and pick up our compact car to head west.  I'm excited about the trip and extremely grateful for the help we received in the process.  For those who offered air miles, I thank you.  It was kind and generous of you.  For those who offered money to make our trip more doable, I am very grateful.  Thank you.  Without your help, this wouldn't be possible.  For those who offered words of encouragement, you have warmed my heart.  I appreciate you all.  Please keep us in your prayers as we travel and as we visit with my sons.  My strongest desire is to have a solid relationship with my boys and to be a positive influence on their lives.

I'll be blogging throughout our trip, sharing photos and impressions along the way.  I hope you'll come along with us and comment on the blog entries.  This ought to be fun!

To the one who lambasted me for asking for help:  the next time you need help with anything, call me.  If I can assist you at all, I will.  And, even if I can't, I'll uplift you to the best of my ability.  Because, that is what good people do.

Peanuts on the airplane...

Life is about the destination, not the journey!

I know, that goes against the tide of contemporary teaching.  We are constantly told to stop and smell the roses, enjoy life, focus on today, etc.

All of that advice has some merit.  We should not just numbly stumble through life, oblivious to the blessings that come our way.  We should seek adventure and chances for personal growth.  We should touch as many lives as we can with the love and grace of God.

All of these things are true!

However, as I was driving to work today I heard a brief snippet from a speaker who mentioned that nobody enjoys a trip so much that they choose to stay on the plane rather than go to their destination.  Even when traveling "first class,"  the plane ride is a means of getting us somewhere.

So much of the teaching today has adopted the humanist approach to life.  According to their philosophies, we should not be concerned with our eternal future, but should be focused on the beauties of the day-to-day human experience.  We focus on the blessings that come our way during this life.  We zero in on what we can get out of life--business success, popularity, companionship, financial benefits.  One pastor with whom I associated used boast about "the favor of God."

I am not demeaning the blessings of God. He grants us what we need to have in order to live the lives He's called us to live.  I am grateful for the many blessings He's chosen to give to me.  I have a beautiful family, a comfortable home, a few close friends, a car, a job, etc.  Those things are in my life because of the unmerited favor of God and I am grateful.

But those things are the peanuts on the airplane!  They are given to us to make this journey easier and more comfortable.  They are given to us to help us accomplish the tasks before us.  Those blessings are not to be our goals! 

We often cling to those blessings as though they were the goal.  Like the Children of Israel hoarding the manna that God had provided, we expend so much energy and time seeking our definition of the blessings of God.  And, like the Israelites experienced, those hoarded gifts spoil and decay.  God's love and mercy are new every morning!  He provides us with what we need for life.  He expects us to work hard and trust Him for what we need.  But, much like the mentality of the four-year-old in my living room, we confuse what we want with what we need.  We are so eager to obtain the little pleasures of life that we lose sight of the destination He has set before us.

Our goal is to be with God.  Our goal is to seek Him.  Our goal is to spend eternity in a love relationship with the One who lovingly created us.  We are the Bride of Christ!  We are traveling toward the Marriage Feast!  Why do we get so wrapped up in the peanuts on the plane?

Sarcasm

sarcasm [sahr-kaz-uhm] noun

1.  harsh or bitter derision or irony.

2.  a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark: a review full of sarcasms.

Origin: 

1570–80;  < Late Latin sarcasmus  < Greek sarkasmós,  derivative of sarkázein,  to rend (flesh), sneer; see sarco-


Sarcasm.  A cutting remark.  A sneering attitude. 

Comes from a term that meant to rend, or tear apart violently, as with flesh.  Like a wolf tearing the meat out of a carcass.  Sarcasm.  An emotionally violent act.

And yet, we live in an extremely sarcastic society.  Sarcasm is the first tool to which many of us turn when attempting humor, or argument.  Sarcasm is what we use to demonstrate our disdain for an idea or a person.  It is also a demonstration of our sense of self-superiority.  It's a prideful gesture.

Sarcasm is often used in place of a sound argument.  It is typically a sign of weak reasoning, or a lack of solid facts from which to argue.  Sarcasm is the first resort of a weak mind.

Yet, we all use sarcasm.  It makes us feel powerful.  It makes us feel good.  It makes others feel stupid and inferior...unless they are sure of their facts.  Then it makes us look like fools.  Attempting to take cheap shots at the intellect of another when he holds a firm grip on truth and reality, and when his belief in that truth is unwavering, is a fool's errand.  It is the mark of a fool.

We profess love for one another, yet commit verbal violence.  It's a sad contradiction.  If sarcasm is derived from the term to rend as flesh, why do we do that to those we claim to love?  Is it to feel superior to them?  If so, then we do not truly love.  Is it to dominate a disagreement?  Then we do not love.  Our sarcasm renders our claims of love fraudulent.

Can we not speak the truth in love?  Can we not simply state facts?  Can we not show our love for one another even in our disagreements?

Your sarcasm does not cause intelligent men to think you intelligent.  Just the opposite, really.  For your sarcasm is a failure of reasoning.  It is mental weakness on display.

It is not included in Jesus' description of the fruit of the spirit.

Just something God's been working on in my spirit.  Thought I'd share.

Two Roads

I have been asked to minister at a funeral.  The fortunate part of that statement is that the person is still alive.  Being able to consider the sermon one would share at a person's funeral with lots of time to spare is not a luxury often afforded to a minister.  Normally one hears that a person has passed, is contacted by the family, and must prepare quickly for the service.

Having the luxury of time, my prayers and overactive mind have given rise to some thoughts I'd like to share with my readers.

Recently, a talented major celebrity passed away.  As with many celebrities, this one's life was pockmarked with drug abuse, erratic behavior and tumultuous relationships.  The lives of many celebrities vividly demonstrate the old adage that money (or fame) can't buy happiness.

One of the things my father taught me from his many years of experience in ministry, is that people tend to try to focus upon the positives in a person's life, usually to the complete exclusion of the negatives.  He described situations in which he'd preached the funerals of violent gang members who were buried with switch-blade knives and bottles of alcohol, and people spoke of what wonderful, caring individuals they'd been. 

I suppose it's a normal emotional reaction.  We, as loved ones, long to hold onto positive memories to help us with our grief.  Deep is the agony experienced by one who has lost a loved-one whose choices and actions have led them to an eternity of damnation.

The problem is, denial doesn't change facts.

We can attempt to canonize a person, turning that person into a saint in our own minds, when in fact, the person's life has been the complete opposite of an example of dedication to Christ.

Now, before I go any farther, let me acknowledge those of my readers, faithful as they are, whose sole mission in life seems to be attempting to remind me of my unworthiness to judge others.  We will not take this opportunity to resurrect our recent discussion on that topic.  The following statement will suffice:  Throughout scripture we are given the outward signs of a life of dedication to God.  Had God not wanted us to pay attention to those signs, He would not have included them in the Holy Record.  The fact is, some people follow Christ and some do not.  Those who follow Christ live lives that are different in obvious and evidentiary ways.  If your life does not show those outer differences, that's your fault, not those around you with eyes and ears.  Is the life in question accurately described by the biblical explanation of the fruit of the Spirit?  That's what we should all be asking ourselves.

Back to the funeral I've been asked to officiate:  the person's life has not been one of a believer.  It has been one marred with self-destructive decisions, sinful activities, and ultimately, the earthly consequences of those choices and actions.  This makes it tough for a minister.  One must be honest but comforting.  One must tell the truth while still offering hope.  Granted, the person is still alive, and therefore there is a possibility of salvation.  I pray fervently for that to occur.  However, this blog is an intellectual exercise based upon the suppositions outlined above. 

When I was a youth pastor, I ran into an interesting situation.  Another leader whispered in my ear that a friend of one of our young people had just died and the kid in our youth group had asked if he could say a prayer before our group.  Well, of course!  So the boy came up and began praying for the soul of the boy who had just died in a car wreck on his way home from a drug party.

Needless to say, this was a difficult situation.  Obviously this boy's heart was broken at the loss of his friend.  Obviously, he had not been taught what the Bible says about life, choices and judgment.  ...And...this was one of those unrehearsed moments wherein a leader must rely solely upon the prompting of the Holy Spirit and gently correct some misconceptions.

When he was finished with his prayer--imploring God to give his friend one last chance, to somehow offer his dead friend one last little bit of mercy and save his soul--I returned to the front of the room and gently explained that, according to scripture, there comes a time when there are no more chances.  I opened Hebrews 9 and described to them how we all have a date with death, and after that: judgment.  I shared with them how, sadly, many do not make the right choice and go on to an eternity without God.  But by the same token, we who are alive have the opportunity to choose to dedicate our lives to Christ, thereby sealing our destiny to be with Him throughout eternity.

We all have that choice.  Some choose eternal life, some eternal damnation.  This is not a popular subject, but it's a topic of which Jesus spoke.  In Matthew 7, Jesus spoke the following truth:  "Enter the narrow gate, for the gate is wide and the road is spacious which leads to destruction, and many are those who are going in it. How narrow is the gate and strict the way that leads to life, and few are those who find it!"

Sadly, most of the world has chosen the broad path.  This superhighway, unlike the one in the image to the left, is a one-way road.  It's broad and easy to travel.  There is a smooth surface, graceful curves, and luxurious accommodations along the way.  It's the scenic route.  It is surrounded by beautiful enticements that grab the attention of all who travel there, like billboards pointing to the next attraction.  Every kind of human enjoyment can be found on this road.  Companionship, excess, fulfillment, it's all there.  While on this road, your self-image is protected by those who will reinforce it.  Of course, they reinforce it only because they are traveling in exactly the same direction, headed to the same unknown destination.

Many who call themselves Christians are on this same road.  Life seems great!  They have great friends, a promising career, big goals and plans... Life seems to be flowing so smoothly for them.  They go to church and walk away feeling better about themselves than when they went in.  The music they listen to assures them that they are on the right path.  They've discovered that they can still walk alongside their unchurched friends and do so many of the same things they did before they began to call themselves Christians.

There's a reason things are going so well for them.  One rarely finds opposition when one is traveling en masse with multitudes of others.  They are coasting on the same flowing river as their comrades.  They are going the same direction as their worldly friends, their boss, and sadly, many of their church friends.  Their life isn't a threat to the world because they, too, are worldly.  They're traveling the wide road.  It is the path of least resistance.  They don't need to take a stand, because their beliefs are secondary to their desire to succeed in their own eyes and the eyes of their peers.

I believe that many entire churches are traveling together along this road.  They are rejoicing, singing, dancing and partying as they pass the billboards that declare upcoming attractions.  They pat each other on the back, rejoicing in their freedom as they live however they want to live, believing that the blood of Christ gives them that liberty.  They focus on a stress-free Christianity in which standards are all but nonexistent and anyone who stands by the doctrines that have been held for centuries is considered outdated and dogmatic.  They cast aside anyone who doesn't enthusiastically race down this broad avenue of reckless abandon, or who doesn't passionately pursue the enjoyment they claim while waving the banner of their type of Christianity.

This road, though easy, scenic, and apt to gain the affection of those around you, leads to destruction.  It is not a matter of if, but when, Easy Street finds its travelers plunging headlong into the abyss.

You may say I'm judgmental.  That's alright.  I've been accused of that by many on this road of which I speak.  Their accusations of judgmentalism do not dissuade me.  You see, I hold up the light of the Word of God and allow you to gauge your own compliance with it.  For, in that light, we are forced to come face to face with our own frailties.  It is not out of malice that I bring you to this light, but out of love.  For, if I didn't love you, I would let you blindly follow the broad path upon which you now travel.  I would stand idly by and smile at your enjoyment, rejoicing that you had found some temporal peace--even though that so-called peace and enjoyment will one day be your undoing.  I love you enough to warn you.  I love you enough to shout against the roar of the traffic and say stop! You're heading in the wrong direction!  This road will destroy you!

Recently, when I commented that it took more than sprinkling the name of Jesus on a life lived in debauchery, one well-meaning friend exhorted me that if I was going to err, I should always err on the side of grace.  What he seemingly meant was that my stance on that issue was too strong.  We were indirectly discussing the death of a celebrity whose drug habit and hard living had brought her life to an unfortunate end.  My stating that true Christians would be known by their fruits apparently, in this person's eyes, did not demonstrate grace.  This is a common approach to Christianity, although it is a failed one.  It is used often to chastise those who proclaim that there are still standards by which Christians must live.  It has become the churchy version of the philosophy "live and let live."


The problem is, when we follow that philosophy, we fail in the calling Christ has placed upon our lives.  We fail to tell the truth of the Gospel.  We fail to see changed lives because we aren't showing people how to change.

That's why I've chosen to walk the other path.  Its far more treacherous.  It's a difficult hike.  But it leads in the right direction.

How narrow is the gate and strict the way that leads to life, and few are those who find it!

This is often a solitary journey.  People turn away at the thought of such a long and laborious walk.  But it leads to Life!  Though the journey is long, though the gate is narrow, though the cliffs and obstacles seem limitless, Life awaits!  Jesus said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life!"  When you discover that He is the way, you realize that the journey isn't treacherous at all, for He is the journey!  Then you can stand up for the Truth, for He is the Truth!  And then you'll realize that in Him we live and move and have our very being!  The narrow way leads to Life, for He is the Life!

So it's alright when people reject us as we walk in the opposite direction as they, for they rejected Him as well.  It's alright when they attempt to throw obstacles in our path, for they rose up against Him, too.  It's alright when they call us old fashioned, for He never changes.  His Truth never changes.  His standards never change.

We all have a choice... a choice of two roads.  You can be like water, following the path of least resistance.  The problem with that is, though it's easy, it always leads downhill.  Or you can take the solitary road.  You can walk apart from the group, as you've been called to.

Friends will betray you.  They will try to make you question your stand.  They will--the very ones who have publicly professed their love of you--publicly chastise you and even call into question your Christianity.  It is the only way they can make themselves feel superior, for the life of the unregenerated is all about feeling superior to others.  It started with Lucifer before the dawn of time, and will continue until judgment day.  Don't be dismayed.  Don't give in.  Don't give up.  Follow the Way.  Walk in the Truth.  Jesus came that you might have Life, and that life more abundantly.  Don't lose sleep when they mock you.  Observe the haughtiness in their attacks and the false-humility they put on display.  Observe how their attacks come both publicly and in back-handed ways.  This is the deception in their hearts that is speaking.  Pray for them, weep for them, and keep walking.  When they see their destruction coming, they'll be calling out to you.  Keep your eyes on the Way.  Continue to speak the Truth.  Let them see the Life of Christ in you.

So dust off your hiking shoes.  We've got a hill to climb.  Are you with me?


So, I guess now I know what I'll be preaching at the funeral.