Decisions, Decisions...

Every day we see (or are) people who continually struggle with ever-more-intense problems. They (or we) reach out to friends because of the normal human need for moral support. Honestly, they (or...well, you get the point) often simply desire to hear that someone agrees with them.

After years involved in ministry and listening to countless people talk to me about personal struggles, decisions they need to make, or conflicts between themselves and others, I've noticed a few things:

1. Most people already know the right move. They simply either want someone to support them in their decision or they want someone to reinforce their decision to go against what they already know to be right.
2. Most people want a counselor who will tell them things that make them feel good about themselves.  Many folks, if they're honest with themselves, will have to admit that they resent blunt truth, and only want someone who will commiserate with them or tell them how strong and courageous they are.
3. Often, the quickest way to get attacked is to give an honest response to such a person's questions.

From a biblical standpoint, the most loving response a person can offer to someone's confusion or conflict is to point them to scriptural sources. However, we know that scripture doesn't mince words. The Holy Spirit, who divinely inspired the scriptures, seems to dislike beating around the bush. Yet, He is called the Comforter. Go figure! The God of the universe knows that straight Truth will set us free! The Bible says that the Word of God is sharper than any two-edged sword and "penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. [Hebrews 4:12]"

The mental image this description gives is surgical. The blade of the Word of God is sharp like a scalpel and can penetrate into the deepest, most difficult to reach parts of our lives. It performs surgery on our attitudes, outlooks, and motivations.  Surgery is not painless, and rarely makes us immediately feel better about ourselves. It requires change. 

All that being said, there's an abundance of people who will flock to you and tell you what they think will help:

Oh, you're so strong!

Oh, you're courageous!

Oh, God's got a plan for your life, and all you have to do is hold on until He's ready to reveal it!

Oh, you deserve better!

Oh, just do what makes you happy! Your happiness is God's will, after all!

But what they're saying rarely brings you to a place of change. The voices are pleasant but ineffective, since they don't cause us to change direction. Scripture nearly always points to change and growth. Any voice that tells you you're alright and everyone else is all wrong is probably not scriptural, even if it's laced with bits and pieces of scripture.

The point I'm trying to get to, ultimately, is this: (it's going to be pretty blunt, so please stay receptive) Someone once said that the definition of insanity is when you keep doing the same things in the same way and expect different results. I don't know if that's really insanity, but it could certainly cause to you go insane. It's like running into a brick wall. You can keep getting back up, brushing yourself off, and getting on your way again -- but if you don't change direction you will run right back into the same brick wall.

Does your life feel like that right now? Has it felt that way for a long time? Are you exhausted from the effort of repeatedly getting up and brushing yourself off from being knocked down by the same old problems?

Here are some basic truths that will help you filter out the voices of true wisdom from those who, although they mean well, are actually just stroking your ego. God does have a plan for you. However, God's plan requires us to change directions. If someone's advice simply says that you're wonderful and everybody else needs to change, chances are it's not godly advice. And if the person to whom you're listening is embracing philosophies that are contrary to scripture, but still quoting scripture in his advice, you can rest assured his advice is flawed.

We come to our moments in time through a series of choices. We make choices every day that have a lasting impact on our lives. Sometimes we make wise choices. Sometimes foolish ones. But you can trace the series of decisions that brought you to this point in your life if you look objectively at yourself. Your choice of friends, partners, jobs, investments, words, etc. You are in control of your own actions. Therefore, the majority of the responsibility for your current situation rests squarely on the decisions you've made thus far.

With that in mind, what decisions have led you here? To whom have you been listening? If the same situations keep cropping up in your life, what is the common denominator? Who or what do you keep letting influence your life?  You'll never get a different result as long as you keep doing things the same way. So, if you're really as strong and courageous as your adviser has repeatedly told you, you'll make a change. Change direction. Do something different. Look at whatever isn't working in your life, and do away with it! That's strength. That's courage. 

Don't be held captive by a track record of bad decisions. Stop making them. Be the brave, strong, independent person you portray to others. Be it. You can. You must. 

...or you'll keep hitting that wall.