A customer came into my store yesterday wanting me to make some adjustments to her account. When I asked for her password, she had no idea what it was--and as is quite common, treated me as if it were my fault she didn't know her password. When I explained that there was no way I could get into the billing account without the password she had set up, she picked up her phone and made a call. Here was the conversation as I recall it.
"Hey, I'm down here at the cell phone company and can't get into my billing account without the password."
<Louder>
"Are you still asleep???!!"
<Louder>
"What the *@&! I can't get in without the password! Do you know what it is?"
<Still Louder>
"I don't even know why we set up a password in the first @#^*! place. Okay, bye."
A moment later, she said to me: "It's funny. I never told you who I was talking to, but you instinctively knew it was a man." I hadn't mentioned any gender, but whatever.
My response? "Why? because you were screaming at him on the phone, or because you had to ask him for your password?"
Answer sexism with sexism, I guess. Perhaps I was a bit out of line. I'll give you that. No, women don't necessarily need a man to tell them their passwords. No, all women don't scream and swear at the men in their lives. So, before any of my female readers take offense, I was actually trying to illustrate a point to this specific woman.
My point is this: Why is it acceptable, and even expected, that women should be able to speak to their partners in this way? Why was it that this woman assumed I would agree with her actions and even find humor in it? Why, as a society, is it politically correct to bash men, while the same treatment directed at women would be considered reprehensible?
I've heard the argument before: "Well, men have dominated society for so long that women are angry. Men have treated women as inferior to themselves for far too long, so it's time for women to stand up and take care of themselves." Okay, some men have subjugated women. Some men have treated women with disrespect. Some men still do. But not all men. All men have
never treated women that way. Therefore, by showing a general disrespect for all men based solely upon their gender, who then is the sexist?
You see, it's very similar to the argument that claims that since dark-skinned Americans were held as slaves in the past it becomes acceptable for their modern descendents to be angry at Caucasian Americans. Really? I'm responsible for what someone did well over 100 years before my birth? I've never owned a slave, nor have I ever wanted to. I've never beaten someone, or forced them to perform labor to enhance my lifestyle. By insisting that all Caucasians are somehow substandard human beings because of the actions of people long dead and buried, those who hold those beliefs are actually practicing racism.
Seems to me that if we followed the scriptural teachings that instruct us to treat others the way we wish to be treated, we'd avoid these pitfalls. Why do we need to lash out at people for things they haven't done? Seriously?
Many will say, "you don't know the pain I've endured at the hands of..." You're right, I don't. Are you divorced? Did your former spouse mistreat you? Perhaps so, but that doesn't mean that all people of that gender are prone to that behavior. Were you physically assaulted by someone? Perhaps so, but that doesn't mean that all people of that ethnic background are prone to that behavior.
What we need is civility in all directions. It should
not be acceptable to insult a group of people simply because of gender. It should
not be acceptable to insult a group of people simply because of ethnicity. And yet, it is considered acceptable in our society...especially when that group is Caucasian males.
Think about it. Commercials, television shows, movies... if you watch with a critical eye, the vast majority of them will show the husband as abusive, egocentric or pathetically out of touch. Many times the characters demonstrate a combination of all three characteristics. This is the image with which we're bombarded, and it's considered acceptable. It's a distorted caricature of masculinity, but it's considered acceptable. Yet, if a man in an office building were to ask his female administrative assistant to pour him a cup of coffee he's committed an offense worthy of complete and immediate evisceration.
Come on, people! Men and women are both vitally important in society and in the family. Neither is expendable, and neither should be discounted or disrespected! No matter what your gender or ethnicity, you are no better, nor are you of any greater importance, than any other human being!
